Hi there! Happy Monday! Today is the first day of our Spring Break and I could not possibly be more excited. Spring fever had kicked in majorly at school and we were all needing a little time off (most of all, the teachers!)
Today, I want you to meet my friend, Ashley. Ashley is an adoptive mom to sweet little Isaac and has some really amazing advice to share about foster care, adoption, and faith. I know you will love Ashley just as much as I do!
Welcome, Ashley!
Tell us a little about yourself.
I am 32. I’m a wife and mama. I’ve been married for over 11 years to my hubby, Micah. We have a gorgeous (I can say that because I had nothing to do with his looks haha) two-year-old little boy Isaac that is our miracle baby!
Share your testimony.
I was saved when I was 15 but I struggled off and on for years with believing if it was real or not. I’m sure God spent a lot of time shaking His head at me during these times. After Isaac came to live with us I started to question my salvation again. This was a very tough season in my life. My faith was seriously tested and I had to, for the first time, lay something at the feet of Jesus and trust Him completely with it. Which is nearly impossible for someone like me that wants to be in control of every situation. I spent more time on my knees than not during the two years we waited to see if Isaac would be ours.
I felt God at work, and I have no doubt that He was with me during this time. He answered prayer after prayer but still, I worried that I wasn’t really saved. So finally I had enough. I was probably at the lowest point of our adoption journey. We had just lived through a month and a half where we were faced with the very real possibility that we would lose Isaac. That was the hardest thing I have ever faced. I had a complete breaking point and not having the comfort of knowing without a doubt that I was saved was just too much. So one Sunday after church Micah and I prayed together and since that day I have had no doubts. A very wise man (Michael Mason) once told me that our salvation is not a feeling, its a promise. I have that written in my bible and I look at it from time to time to remind myself. Looking back I believe I was truly saved at 15 but either way, I have no doubt now.
It is so brave of you to publically “own” your doubts about salvation. I think so many of us struggle with this privately. Do you have any advice for someone who may be feeling that same way?
My advice would be to talk to someone you trust that you know is a Christian. I talked to both my pastors (Michael Mason and Richie Thompson), my father in law, a close friend and of course, Micah, over the years I struggled. It ultimately came down to me and God but their counsel made a difference. Michael Mason did tell me that Satan can and will attach your belief of your salvation. I was shocked. I had never even considered this. I believe it to be very true.
Also, don’t be ashamed. Shame plagued me for years. I was a Sunday school teacher for years and married to a deacon–how could I question my salvation or better yet not even be saved? This was my thought process. It was all lies. After I professed my belief in Jesus and was baptized last year not one person questioned me. I was only met with love and happiness by my fellow believers.
You are a foster/adoptive parent. Is this something you’ve always dreamed of doing? What events/circumstances led to you being open to foster care/adopting?
I have always had a desire to adopt but never in my wildest dreams thought I would adopt through the foster system. Not long after Micah and I were married we started trying to have a family. Unfortunately, we soon discovered that this would not come easily to us. We spent the next 7-8 years working with fertility specialists, trying on our own and just taking breaks to enjoy our marriage. In 2014, after lots of prayer, we felt that God was telling us our family would be built through adoption. I immediately told God “just not foster care!” I just couldn’t imagine that for us. The thought of loving a child and then possibly losing them was just too much for me to bear. BUT God had other plans.
We had all of our paper work filled out and ready to submit to an adoption agency and we just felt something was off. God was putting foster care everywhere in our paths. We had a precious boy in our AWANA class at church that was in foster care, some friends from church had just adopted their two children through the foster system and another friend from church actually worked at our local DHR as a social worker for foster children. We just couldn’t get away from it. So after more prayer, we went into a meeting with our friend from church at DHR and left knowing without a doubt that this is what we were supposed to do.
From there we applied to be foster/adoptive parents, took the required classes, readied our home and had numerous home studies and back ground checks. Then we waited. We were approved and licensed as foster parents in November 2014. We received the call that forever changed our lives on January 29th, 2015. It’s a BOY!! I will never forget that phone call or the first time we met our precious boy. He was 6 months old and absolutely perfect. He is now 2 1/2. We have spent the past two years having home visits, birth parent visits, and court dates. Its been a roller coaster of emotions but so worth it. He brings us so much joy and we know without a doubt he was meant to be our son.
We officially adopted Isaac December 14th, 2016. We are so thankful for the seasons of unknowns and waiting. It has tested our faith and made us stronger. God never once left us and we are forever changed by our journey.
What is the biggest struggle you think exists in foster care?
The fear. I hear so often from people that they couldn’t foster because it would hurt too much if they left. I thought this too and it’s true. It does hurt, but not enough to not give a child a safe place to lie their head at night, food in their bellies, clean clothes on their backs and the opportunity to experience love and security. We’re grown ups. We can deal with the fear and hurt of them leaving but they shouldn’t have to. I have had the opportunity to witness not just in my own life but in numerous others the absolute joy that comes with fostering. Is it hard? Yes. It’s the hardest thing we have ever done but it’s also the best.
What is something you are passionate about?
My little family. When I look at my life now I think of the verse: “Perhaps this is the moment for which you have been created. Esther 4:14” It’s why Micah and I waited for over 10 years for a little one. It was all apart of God’s plan for our life. Isaac is only going to be small once. He’s growing so fast and I know there will come a day when he doesn’t need me as much. So I’m enjoying being his number 1. I love spending time with him and Micah. Watching him grow, learn and become who God intends for him to be. This season of my life is precious to me.
Life is so busy these days–how do you recharge?
Alone time. I need just 30 min to myself and I’m good to go. Thankfully I have a husband that recognizes this and keeps Isaac occupied (he’s a serious mama’s boy and I love it) for me to grab those few moments when I need them.
Tell us three things you are loving (books, tv shows, products, etc.).
- Cross body purses…I have always preferred a tote-like bag but recently used a cross body on a trip and it’s a game changer especially with a little one and all the stuff. Two Words: Hands. Free.
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Llama Llama–Children’s books written by Anna Dewdney. Isaac and I both love them!
Llama Llama Red Pajama is Isaac’s favorite.
- Plunder. I became a consultant with Plunder in January because I love the jewelry and I had challenged myself to overcome my fears and get out of my comfort zone. I love it. It has been so much fun. I have met some great women and feel more confident in myself as a person than I ever have before!
I love Ashley’s personal insight into the foster care system and her wisdom on how salvation is a promise, not a feeling. Thank you so much, Ashley, for sharing your heart with us!
Hey guys! If you follow me on social media, you know that I’m playing nurse this week to a recovering patient. (If you don’t follow me on social media, my youngest daughter had her tonsils removed on Monday!) Coincidentally, the events leading up to her tonsillectomy are the same events that led to the research behind this post.
Method Cleaning Products. Method is probably the natural product I’ve used the longest. It was the first thing I bought last year (maybe even longer than that) when I started thinking about using natural products. I love the way it smells–Clementine and Grapefruit are my favorites. I love the way it cleans. The spray works well on everything–my laminate countertops, my wood kitchen table, our concrete floor, my mirrors. Our cleaning lady (oh how I miss her!) was converted after seeing how brightly the Method made my microwave shine!
Tom’s of Maine toothpaste. Tom’s leaves my mouth feeling super squeaky clean–almost like when you leave the dentist office. I’ve been using this toothpaste for several months and I immediately noticed a whitening of my teeth. Tom’s doesn’t have that minty fresh taste I’ve gotten used to with other brands, even though the label boasts “mint” flavor. It doesn’t taste bad; it doesn’t actually have a taste at all. Tom’s has a strawberry flavor for the kids that I haven’t been able to convince my girls’ to try yet, but I’m still working on that!
Burt’s Bees lip products. I would be embarrassed to count how many Burt’s Bees lip products we have lying around. The lip shimmer is my favorite, but I have the “real” lipstick, too. In addition to being natural, this product feels (and smells!) so good. I love how much softer it makes my lips feel. The lipstick and lip shimmer both have color in them and the color stays on just as well as any other lip product I’ve tried (except for that 12-hour Cover Girl stuff!).
Dickinson’s Original Witch Hazel. I use this as a toner on my face, after my face wash. (My face wash isn’t yet natural, but I am open to your recommendations!) I noticed a huge difference in my face following my acne facial a few months ago, but within days of using this witch hazel as a toner, the remaining bumps disappeared. {Disclaimer: I think hormonal acne is something I (and most women) will always deal with, but if I can reduce the amount of time that hormonal acne is visible, I call that a win!}
