That’s What She Said, Vol. 3

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second birthday

I am surrounded by the funniest people. I love a good sarcastic comment, or wrongly used word, or sometimes even a made-up word. That’s What She Said is a monthly round-up of all the things I’ve heard that have made me giggle.

That’s What She Said:  Libby

The other day, I vetoed an activity Libby was wanting to attend.
Me, jokingly: “Are you mad?”
Libby: “No!”
Me, jokingly: “Have I ruined your childhood?”
Libby, dead serious: “Not yet. There’s still time, though!”

Last summer, Billy had a scary experience while kayaking. He was reminding us about it a few nights ago, and then this happened.
Billy: “I don’t think I’ll ever get in that kayak again.”
Libby: “Why? Because you don’t fit?”

Driving home from Nashville the other day, Libby looked over at a sleeping Jase and said, “Well he bit the bus!”

One day last week, Kyndall was frustrated at Libby for asking a lot of questions.  I told Kyndall that Libby was just making sure she was on the right track.  Libby responded with, “Yea, I fall off the track sometimes!”

That’s What She Said:  Kyndall

We were eating lunch one afternoon and I was explaining to the girls that my first job was as a dessert chef at a local restaurant. Without missing a beat, Kyndall looked up and said, “Did you just lose those skills?”

That’s What (HE) Said:  Jase

I made the kids scrambled eggs for supper.  When I walked over to grab some napkins, Jase put an egg in his spoon, threw the egg toward Kyndall and yelled, “Catch HA!”.  I think we may have been to the Japanese hibachi restaurant one too many times 🙂

PS:  If you are reading this through your email subscription, you will have to click over to the webpage to view the video.  Sorry for the inconvenience ?  Also, please excuse the mess in my house–remember, we are living in a construction zone! 🙂

Updated to Add:  If you missed the “Hooker Bear” story from a few months ago, you’ll want to check that out.  Click here.  It’s worth it, I promise!

That’s What She Said, Vol. 2

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I am surrounded by the funniest people. I love a good sarcastic comment, or wrongly used word, or sometimes even a made-up word. That’s What She Said is a monthly round-up of all the things I’ve heard that have made me giggle.

That’s What She Said:  Libby

Libby met a new Chinese friend recently at a fundraiser for Zeke and Lisa’s adoption.  As they were going over the rules of a new game they were going to play, Libby looked sweetly and him and said “Do you understand what we are saying?”  Him, being Chinese born but raised in the USA, replied confusedly, “Yes, why?”. “She looked at him and said “Well because you are…..skinny!”  Good catch, Lib.

That’s What She Said:  Kyndall

“Mama, this tree is the greatest.  Just the greatest.  It holds our tire swing, it holds BOTH our hammocks.  I hope it never falls.”

That’s What She Said: School

On Inauguration Day, I had a student in the library who was in a big hurry.  She wanted to check out her books and get back to class before President Trump was sworn in.  She said, “I really don’t want to miss this.  I’ve never seen an inauguration before.  Because when President Obama was sworn in, I was dead!”  You know, since she wasn’t alive yet, she was dead.

That’s What (HE) Said:  Justin

The girls have been begging to go eat at Stevi B’s pizza for months now. (Sidenote:  If you’ve never had Stevi B’s, you should!)  One day, they were being extra whiny and complaining about how long it had been since we had eaten there.  Justin, very seriously, turns to them and says “Do you know how long it’s been since kids in Ethiopia had Stevi B’s?”  Parenting comment, WIN.

That’s What (HE) Said:  Jase

Kyndall has been “training” Jase for weeks now to say that she is awesome and everyone else is poop.  Sometimes, that backfires for her.

PS:  If you are reading this through your email subscription, you will have to click over to the webpage to view the video.  Sorry for the inconvenience 🙂

That’s What She Said, Vol. 1

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TWSSI am surrounded by the funniest people. I love a good sarcastic comment, or wrongly used word, or sometimes even a made-up word. That’s What She Said is a monthly round-up of all the things I’ve heard that have made me giggle.

At Justin’ family Christmas celebration, one of my nieces was talking about having a bubble butt. Kyndall asked what that meant and was informed it was when your booty pokes out like a bubble. Kyndall laughed and said, “Well my Daddy has a bubble belly!”

Libby got new makeup (and a lot of it!) for Christmas. One day on our break, she looked up at me and said, “I’m going to go put on my new makeup and when I come out, I’m going to look like a WOMAN!”

We are considering different options for new housing–moving, building, etc.  One thing we do know is that there is a good chance we will be staying with my parents for a while during the transition.  We have been talking to the girls about this some.  On the way to church the other day, Libby burst out with “GraGra and Pops are going to have to pay for all our technology when we move in with them.”

A kindergarten teacher brought her class to the library and told me one of her students was at the nurse’s office taking his medicine.  A few minutes later, the student came back and said he couldn’t find the nurse.  I asked him what medicine he had to take (so I would know if I needed to go right then or wait until I got his class settled.)  He responded, “It’s a pill I have to swallow.  And if I don’t take it, I’m going to be bad!”

In case you are wondering, we went right then to find the nurse!

During our family Scrabble game, Justin attempted to use the word “vide”.  He argued with me that it was a real word.  I asked for a definition.  He responded:  “Vide is when you take vitamins.  You know, you wake up in the morning and you vide.”  Good try, babe.

From two second grade students looking for books– “That happened in 1999–nobody was even alive then!”

The girls have started noticing these funny comments too.  Just the other day, Libby said something funny and Kyndall looked at me and said, “That’s what she said.”  She was, of course, referring to this blog post and not to the other meaning of that phrase.  It’s fun stuff, living with these people.  A barrel of laughs, I tell ya. =)

PS:  Don’t forget to vide–it’s important, you know.

That’s What She Said, November Edition

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Welcome to our monthly installment of That’s What She Said, where I combine all the funny things I’ve heard lately.  Most, but not all, of these things come from my silly little family.

Justin cooked not one, not two, but THREE turkeys this Thanksgiving.  (He has this Orion grill that he thinks is just the best thing ever, and it is!)  The girls were helping him get one of these turkeys ready when I called Kyndall to help me in the living room.  Her response?  “Hang on Mom, Daddy’s letting us do shots!!!”

Just to clarify, they were injecting the turkeys with seasoning.  =)

At our Thanksgiving dinner, the girls were given the turkey wishbone to pull apart.  When they pulled it apart, Libby was the winner.  (I always tell her them that for their wish to come true, they have to tell me. Because, duh.)  So I asked her what she had wished for.  Her answer?  “I asked for a baby sister!”

Good luck with that one, baby girl.

Our school typically takes a school-wide field trip each year.  On one such trip, as we were preparing to load the buses, I stepped into my office and found this on my desk:

IMG_0051

I don’t know about you, but the time I most need Jesus is when I’m about to field-trip with 600 elementary students! 🙂

 

Happy Friday, y’all!

That’s What She Said, October edition

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IMG_3719This is our monthly installment of the silly, weird things my family has said during the month of October.  Enjoy!

While curling Libby’s hair, I accidentally hit the top of her head with the end of the curling iron.  She got all upset and said, “Mama, I’m calling WHR.”  Sweet girl, I think you mean DHR but I don’t think either of those agencies are going to do you any good right now.

Kyndall is a very…. spicy….person.  She is blunt and sarcastic and says exactly what she thinks. We have been talking to her for a while now about using words that are encouraging and uplifting.  We were having a conversation one day about getting her hair cut and how she does not want it cut.  She wants it long like Rapunzel.  I told her that Rapunzel’s hair was frizzy and nappy because she never had it cut.  She popped back with “Your hair is frizzy and nappy.”  (This is the kind of things she says, meaning it as a joke.  Only sometimes, people who are more precious than us, don’t get the joke.)

I laughed and asked her what happened to her being encouraging and uplifting.  She said, “Mama, I have been encouraging and uplifting all day at school and I am tired of it!”

Libby had a rash come up on her back for a few days.  One morning, while standing in front of the pantry looking for a snack, she came up with this little ditty:

Itchy, itchy, I feel bitchy.

She sang it through twice before I caught on to the words and noticed Kyndall’s wide-eyed look.  This baby girl of mine still doesn’t understand the whole curse word thing 🙂

At school the other day, I was checking out a first grade classes library books.  There are two little boys in the class who have the same last name–one is white and the other is black.  I started joking with them asking if they were brothers, since they had the same last name.  Finally, one, exasperated with my joking, said, “Mrs West–we are so different!! We have different hair!” 🙂

For more That’s What She Said posts:

September Edition

August Edition

June Edition

April Edition

March Edition

That’s What She Said, September edition

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That's What She SaidIt is a constant circus around here.  I would like to say there is an order to our chaos, but that wouldn’t be true.  This family of mine surely keeps me on my toes.  Please, be entertained by our September edition of Thats What She Said.  Even if there is a ‘he’ thrown in there 🙂
In the car, Kyndall was talking about how much she despises math and, specifically, multiplication.  Libby got caught up on the word ‘multiplication’ because it was hard for her to say–she kept calling it mulch for vacation??  Kyndall was frustrated that Libby couldn’t say it.  She said “Lib, repeat after me:  Mult.”  Libby said “Mult.”  And Kyndall finished with “Tiplication.”  Libby just looked at me.  Yea, way to break it down for her Kyndall.
On a recent car ride, I dropped the top to Justin’s Mt. Dew down into the space between the seats.  This happens often–I call that place the black abyss–and Justin always gets frustrated.  When I announced that the lid was now lost forever, he looks at me, obviously frustrated, and says “Obvidently….” And then I cracked up, because that is sooo not a real word, babe. Also, “obvidently” is our new family word.  Obvidently.
At school last week, Kyndall came into the library all flustered and asked “Mama, what am I?”  Completely confused, I asked for more details.  “Mom.  I’m doing that survey in Mrs. Pearson’s room and I have to put what I am.  There are like, 8 options.  Am I white or what?”  In her defense, her dad chooses Asian/Pacific Islander and I choose American Indian on these types of questions.  She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to choose!
As we were pulling into Priceville’s North Park the other night, Justin was getting onto Libby for kicking the back of his seat. He said, “Libby, where are your feet?” She doesn’t miss a beat, answering “North Park!”
For more posts like these, check out all the That’s What She Said posts.

That’s What She Said, August Edition

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 I’ve really enjoyed gathering the random, funny things that are said in my little family into the previous “That’s What She Said” posts.  So I thought I’d do a monthly round up.  Below you’ll find a collection of humorous stories, mostly from Libby, that were recorded during the month of August.

Libby was informing Justin and I that she wants another baby brother.  (Just to clarify–she doesn’t want to replace her baby brother, she wants an additional brother.)  Justin laughed and told her that was not going to happen.  She looks at him, all full of sass, and says “You don’t know.  Life is life.  God makes those decisions.”

Libby got in the car after school one day and told me that a boy in her class was saying ugly things.  I asked what he was saying and she replied:  “He says ‘Libby, Libby guess what!’ and when I say ‘What?’ he says “Deez nuts!”.  While extremely inappropriate for her little second grade self, I couldn’t help but get tickled that these kids are saying this.

In the car, Jayden told us he was getting his hair cut at “La Trega.”  Kyndall said, “AUSTRALIA?  What are they going to do, cut a kangaroo into your hair?”  (This was something right out of her daddy’s playbook.  She definitely has his sense of humor.)

Leaving the doctors office the other day, I was directing the girls on which way to go through the hospital.  I said “To the left.  To the left.” and at the same time, both girls started dancing and singing “Now kick, now kick, now walk it by yourself.”

At the beginning of every year, our school has a Bus Evacuation Drill with students who normally ride in a car.  Apparently, things weren’t explained clearly because Libby stopped our vice principal on the way out to the bus and said, “Coach Stephens, I am NOT jumping out of a moving bus!”

You can find previous “That’s What She Said” posts here:

Conversations with K & L

That’s What She Said, Family Edition

That’s What She Said, Libby Edition

That’s What She Said, Family Edition

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Y’all, it is daily that my people say things to make me laugh.  Sometimes, it is just using the wrong word or phrase in a sentence.  Other times, it is something outright funny.  This is a collection of some of those things.

On our recent hike to Bankhead, we crossed over a small creek.  Kyndall turns to my parents and says, and I quote, “I’m a dam expert.”  Can you imagine the looks on my parents faces?  Priceless!  (Backstory:  on a field trip to Desoto Caverns, K and her friends built a dam in a creek.  It actually made the water run a different way, so she thinks she is an expert at building a dam.)

At the beach, Libby was about to get in trouble for something when she said “But Gra-Gra said it was ok!”  Gra-Gra laughed and said “Well just throw me over the bush, why don’t you!”  Ummm…. Gra-Gra? I think the correct expression is throw me under the bus!

The other day, I was about to get in the shower.  Libby was holding Jase and I went to get him to put him in his seat in the bathroom, so I could keep an eye on him.  She looked at me, shook her head no, and said, “Just give me a burp cloth and I got this!”

If Jase gets fussy in the car, the girls will sing to him.  After another great performance, Libby looked at Kyndall and said, “We blowed the roof off of that house, yo!”

Libby was recently given gas (aka “Mr. Nose”) for some dental work.  The gas always makes her act different, so I never know what to expect.  The first time, she kept trying to tickle the dental hygienist.  The second time, she just kept crying.  This most recent time, she was snapping her fingers at the hygienist and demanding things–water, suction, etc.  The hygienist and I were cracking up!

It’s always something around these parts 🙂

That’s What She Said, Libby Edition

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ThatsWhatSheSaidIf you know my Libby at all, you know she has a flair for drama. And, God love her, she says hilarious things EVERY SINGLE DAY and doesn’t even know they are funny.  At the risk of her future embarrassment, here are just a few giggle-worthy conversations.

Kyndall came running in the bathroom the other day, with Libby right behind her, crying big huge crocodile tears. Kyndall tells me that Libby said “B***H.” To which Libby quickly responds, “I asked her if B***H was a bad word. I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to say B***H! Linda said B***H at school and Seth said he was going to tell on her for saying B***H but I didn’t know B***H was a bad word!”

And just like that, my sweet precious six year old has said B***H no fewer than twenty times in a five minute time span.  And this from a child who thinks mama is cussing when I say “crap!”

As I was changing Jase’s diaper, Libby looked at his “boy part” and very seriously asked if she and Kyndall looked like that when they were babies. That one required some explaining (again!) on my part.

And then, when I was nursing Jase:

L: Mommy! He is sucking just like a hooker!
Me: Say, WHAT?!?!
L: Like a hooker bear. You know, on the Flinstones.
Me: No, I don’t know. And we probably shouldn’t say that anymore!

If you happen to know what a hooker bear is, please pass that valuable information on to me!

Conversations with K & L

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On what Justin and I could do while both girls were gone to Blake’s birthday outing.
Libby:  Daddy, you should take Mommy out to dinner.  And pay for it, because that’s romantic.

Randomly:
Libby:  Mommy, I really want two brothers.  One for you and Daddy and one for me and Kyndall.

When playing with Kyndall the other day, she blew a dandelion and made a wish, not knowing I was hearing.  She said “I wish I had two brothers.”  (<–this girl is stuck on the two brothers thing.  whew!)

While walking though Disney a few weeks ago, Libby licked her finger and wiped it on GraGra’s face.  She said “I just wiped spit on you.”  As if this wasn’t awkward enough, Libby doesn’t pronounce her “SP” sound very well, so her “spit” sounded JUST LIKE sh*t.  So it sounded like she said “I just wiped sh*t on you.”  Oh, the hilarity!

 

On Minecraft:
Kyndall:  Libby, let me show you how to donate your TNT.

In other Minecraft news, K was tested for TAG the other day.  Thanks to this game, she knew exactly what an inventory was.  Guess that game is useful for something, after all.

When leaving Chili’s the other day:
Kyndall:  Libby, put your hands on my shoulders and let’s do the TONGA.

After gymnastics this past week, I was showing K how to do bunny hops.  It was right before bed and I had already removed my bra (sorry if that’s TMI) and so I was holding my hands up to support “the girls” as I was jumping.  I looked over to see Kyndall bunny hopping EXACTLY as I was–with her hands up over her chest =)